Sunday, July 03, 2005

Red Rope

I tried soo hard
and cried even harder
I tied it soo hard
and died even harder
I hide from her
I went missing
I lied to her
Im a marked man
Dont shed one tear
Or dred my goodbye
I blead to die
and im hung to the sky
this is it
hold your breath
and breath another
after my death

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Realities of a warrior

let me hand u my heart,
take it and tear it apart,
I'll never be far from dead, note
the constructed hate staying will bring me late

I've watched you fall away from me,
I've pondered wat to do,
should I dissappear or should I try to care for you,
it would be wrong to leave so i'll stay,
just until I make sure that your ok,
when all is said and done I will then re-visit my life and second guess myself...

Tries to make it out of bed,
but last night far too much He bled,
no He's waking and seeing nothing but red,
turns over wishing and dreaming to see the end,
painted by a brush of black,
closes his eyes wanting to find what is lacked,
blurs of what was once familiar fade and then return,
he hears a heart bleeding,
sadly his he learns,
all he had was his bed where now he lays forever, dead

Saturday, June 11, 2005


Can I quit?
Just forget?
Im sick of this
Im not adding to this earth
And, like all life, i was destined to death from birth
Im sorry my friends, i just dont know my worth
But everyday I have to put on a mask
Im Not Happy, I want to give up this task
On the outside Im beaming
But on the Inside Im screaming
Of the the one Ill never get
myself in your eyes
But to no avail
To what is it to fail
But to just give up
This is the line in the Sand
turn me down
or give me your hand
'cause life without you I just can't stand

You Are

-You are...
--You are the poem I never wrote
---You are the test I never took
----You are the game I never played
-----You are the chance I never get
------You are the feeling I never felt
-------You are the joke I never got
--------You are the lie I never knew
---------You are the question I never asked
----------You are the dream I never had
-----------You are the voice I wont stop hearing
------------You are everything...


I had a great poem to write
A life poem, and why life was so good and right
But I came to the conclution that it wasn't..
Gave It up on those types of poems
all Up and for good
Why you give up? people ask
ask me? its none of your fucking business
It is too easy to write about life and happiness
very simple, to talk about what your opinion of love is
I wont write about that crap because it never works out right
let myself write poems like this one and with this reach a new height
live for another type of poetry?
No reason. I already have another type
I want to tell you all what it is
to say all about this
goodbye to the slow ones
you all wont be able to get it
but It reach those with an open mind and heart like a pit
will bring the relief of what happend.
only pain. only anger. only dismay.
I just need to find a change
cant rely on me to be around forver, someday I will part
on myself you will find one heart
for one soul who never wanted to accept it...
more second poems like this will follow
Im going to take a break from the struggle and feel relief of defeat
away forever. never stopping. Never coming home.
tell her that It was great spending the time I did with her
That I really enjoyed the memories we sharred
loved her beautiful eyes, as i close my own, I still see them
and always will I see her in my mind
I will forever

An Angry Night

I talked a man out of suicide today
He coudln see why he should go on
it was his life to live why shoud he pay?
he believed his choice to die would be his to make
the choice was his and his to take
He was angry
"it shouldnt be like this" he would always say
but never did a thing to change his way
It made him sad- when other couldn't see
the things he did for them that only hurt he
Day to day it never got better
he wrote this inside his sucide letter
now he sits, writing this
alone and waiting, he feels full of hateing
sittin with a knife and just debaiting
"WHY WHY?" he just wants to scream
cause the lie of love is only a dream
He didnt want to live
he wanted to Die
I just wanted to leave
I wanted to cry
Let myself free
and give me a chance to fly
cause if you havent gotten it
that man was I

My Razor is My alarm

Do You ever feel like life, existance, is only another sub-contious?
Do You ever feel like this, for most people, is nothing but a dream?
Do You ever feel like this, for you, is a nightmare?
Do You ever feel like you wish you could just wake up?

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


I killed myself in a dream i had last night
Because of my depression I feel new pain, my body is tight
Her Rejection added to the main scheme and out of my heart took a bite
I couldn't take the answer to a question because in my heart i knew what was right
take the feeling of love away and we will all be in darkness, love is light
pain of love hurts without your other half and so i must go towards the light and
life anymore shall be not the same... now you see my plight
so I sit here and cotimplate what to do... I could do it, i might. but if i
killed myself trying to show my love of you
out of rejection nothing is gain, but only lost
true love cannot be created or stopped, only lives can end
and ended it was, but life goes on...
it all has to for some.. but you can say
goodbye mom to the old depressed son you once had
its not ending right here, love lives on.. But my love...
your fault was to not choose me, I care for you.. now look what you have made me do.
Im sorry...

If you read it correct, you will know what has happened...
you will get the buzz
Blades and pills dont kill people
life does...

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Too much on my mind
I have lost what im trying to find
I never in any life would be able to show you truly how I feel
And i had soo much to say.. too bad it had to end this way
forget me and ill go away
not to come back another day
just lead yourself into a denail
just forget my death, if only for a while
take my heart and throw it into the pile...
If you could only hear and not read this
you could hear my tone
and know how much i feel alone
and see how much my heart bleads for you
Live your life the way i wanted you to
While i end my life, only because i wanted you
I feel it going, my blood has fleated
my love, to what has this leaded
I lay here, im sorry, my life is defeated
Now its over, too much i have bleaded
A chance, a chance, was all i needed.